


I’ve Got You (And You’ve Got Me Too)

by zealous_whispers_of_us



Series: Not Your Omega [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, F/M, I'm Sorry, Kinda, Miscarriage, Omega Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 22:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17517161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zealous_whispers_of_us/pseuds/zealous_whispers_of_us
Summary: She wants to open her mouth and scream, but she’s just so sleepy and so sad that she lays there, rolling pathetically on the ground as her body shudders with silent sobs.





	I’ve Got You (And You’ve Got Me Too)

**Author's Note:**

> TW for: you know what it is. 
> 
> Hi, don't hate me.

_I have to pee again. Come on, children? Ugh, you both are ridiculous and so tiny still, why am I peeing so much already? And why do I smell blood? If that fucker is eating in bed, I swear to God. That is disgusting._

“Wolfy,” she groans. “Stop eating in bed, that is so nasty. I just did laundry.”

She cracks her eyes open to slits and rolls her head over, prepared to find Bucky gnawing on an animal in their bed. However, he isn’t there. Confused, she opens her eyes all the way and takes note of her surroundings — no dead things or raw meat to be seen. The bags of blood she had had as a midday snack had been thrown away. Where is that smell coming from? Is it her breath? Maybe she needs to brush her teeth?

“Bucky?” she calls.  “Where are you?”

Her tummy spasms again and she sighs tiredly. She feels like she’s living on the toilet lately, what with all the morning sickness and peeing. She had no idea she could still throw up as a vampire. (It is vile and nothing but blood because _of course_ ).

She kicks the blankets off and swings her legs to the side of the bed. She stands up and pauses as her entire body freezes. Did she pee her pants? But, no. It’s strange the way the liquid sits in her pajama pants. It is not dripping and smearing down her legs to puddle at her feet. She feels her body go entirely numb as the intrusive thought flashes through her mind.

“Impossible,” she scoffs, but it sounds doubtful even to her ears.

She doubles over in sudden pain. Her knees give out, and she collapses on the floor, dissolving into whimpers and whines as she flops on the ground helplessly. Hesitantly, her hand trails down her stomach. She already knows what she’s going to find, but even so, the sticky feeling of blood on her thighs makes her start. She starts breathing faster and faster.

“No,” she moans. “No, no, no, no.”

Distantly, she hears the thundering of feet running up the steps. Her tummy squeezes again, and it’s like she can see it in her mind; the fresh blood trickling down her thighs, the tiny pups getting pushed from her body. She wants to open her mouth and scream, but she’s just so sleepy and so sad that she lays there, rolling pathetically on the ground as her body shudders with silent sobs. 

Bucky leaps up the last few stairs and sprints down the hallway, yanking open the door and scrambling inside their bedroom. The smell of blood is heavy and cloying. His omega smells like decaying leaves and all things horrible. Bucky doesn’t want to look. (Don’t make him look!) He does anyway and swallows back his whine of primal fear at the blood staining her pajama shorts, legs, and the carpet beneath her. He tilts his head up and howls in mourning. He drops to his knees and has the sudden urge to take all of the blood and somehow push it back into her body.

“Sweet baby, oh my darlin’,” Bucky moans, gathering her up in his arms. “Jus’ hang on for me, baby girl. ”’M here pretty baby. Don’ go to sleep, okay? Keep those pretty eyes open for me. It’ll be okay. Help is on its way.”

Bucky’s head dissolves into a mess of static as he sits with his catatonic omega, rocking her back and forth as he fights his tears. She’s not even seeming to comprehend what’s going on or that Bucky is there. He smells the pain, the acrid scent of her fear, yet her eyes are glazed over, and she isn’t looking at him, but _through_ him instead. He soothes her the best he can and sweeps the hair off of her face. He kisses her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, anywhere he can reach with his lips, mumbling words to her that he isn’t even sure that she can hear. There’s just so much  _blood_! Why is there so much blood?

Finally, after what seems like an entire millennium, Wanda rushes in with Steve right on her heels. The rest of the pack hover outside the door as Steve places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Wanda flits around Bucky and his baby doll, her hands shaking as she silently cries.

Two vampires rush in with a stretcher, and Bucky snaps his teeth at one when he reaches for his omega. He whines, low and troubled, and so afraid. Wanda sounds like she’s choking back tears as she urges Bucky to lift his sweet baby onto the stretcher.

Everyone moves as one and speeds down the stairs; Bucky is growling at the vamps whenever he or she accidentally jiggle the stretcher a little too much.

“Be careful,” he snarls. “She’s my omega, damn it.”

Then she is lifted (exceptionally carefully) into the ambulance, and Bucky hops in after her, watching as one vamp starts checking her over. Bucky makes room for the guy to do his job and moves to stand above his baby’s head. He smooths her hair away from her unblinking eyes. She makes a soft, broken sound and Bucky leans down, kissing the tears away as he fights his own.

* * *

 

“Mr. Barnes? Mr. Barnes, can you hear me?”

“Buck?” Steve says.

Bucky sits up from his position on one of the terrible chairs he’d planted his ass down in nine hours before and tries to crack his neck. His brain works sluggishly to get back online, and he chugs the rest of his lukewarm coffee in one gulp. He wipes his mouth as he looks up at Steve and the Beta doctor next to him. He blinks blearily. He’d been unable to sleep at all. 

“Yeah?” Bucky asks. “What’s th’ damage? Everyone okay, doc?”

The doctor looks uncomfortable, and Bucky smells the faint scent of sorrow. He feels his heart sink.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barnes. There was a complication. It seems that your wife’s body could not handle the stress of monochorionic-diamniotic twins and she miscarried. Do you know about how old she was when she was turned?”

“Twenty,” Bucky croaks. “She wasn’t that old. I don’t- I don’ understand. She was great, the pups were _fine_!”

“Mr. Barnes, may I be blunt?” the doctor says.

Steve scowls at the doctor, his mouth opening to say something sharp, but Bucky needs bluntness right now, no matter how awful it may sound. He waves at the doctor to let her know that she can continue.

The doctor takes a breath: “Omega wolves have different internal bodily structures to nurture and sustain a wolf pregnancy. Since she was born a human, your wife does not have those parts. She can get pregnant, but the risk of it resulting in a live birth is minimal. It carries a high risk to her and the child.”

“Is…. Is she okay?” Bucky asks with waves of terror washing over him. (It never occurred to him that she could _die_  carrying his pups!) “Is my omega okay?”

“She is. We stopped the bleeding and are replenishing what she lost. She’s resting if you wanted to see her?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah please, please.”

Crushing the plastic coffee cup in his fist, Bucky scrambles to his feet and hastily wipes the sweat from his face and the grit from his eyes. The doctor waits as he gathers himself. He hiccups a few times as he tries to tame his hair back into a manageable style. After he feels as unruffled and as alpha-like as he can be, Bucky follows the doctor down the hallway.

They arrive at a room with her name on it.

“She’s in here. We had to sedate her pretty heavily, so she may be a little tired,” the doctor explains.

“Thanks,” Bucky says.

He turns to Steve, who wraps his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and hugs him tightly. Bucky shudders in his best friend’s arms as Steve pats him on the back.

“I jus’- fuck. I wanted pups so bad an’ I didn’t even think… I coulda,” Bucky swallows back his tears. “I coulda killed her too.”

“You didn’t know,” Steve says firmly. “How could you have known?”

“I jus’ feel awful ‘bout it all, Stevie. 'M so fuckin' stupid. I didn't even  _think,_ damn it. I feel so stupid."

"You are  _not_. Buck, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say except that. We're all here for you, you know?  _I'm_ here for you. Look, I'm gonna grab lunch, okay? I'll get you somethin' too. You needa eat. Okay?"

Bucky shrugs numbly. 

"Thanks."

Steve nods in return. The two then break apart, and Steve looks away in respect as Bucky wipes more tears from his cheeks. He chews his lip as he turns towards the door and knocks lightly. Hearing no answer, Bucky pushes it open, looks at Steve who gives him a reassuring nod, and steps into the room. He closes the door behind him and looks towards the bed. His omega, looking so young and small in the giant hospital bed, is methodically sucking her way through a bag of blood. Bucky walks closer to her, and she doesn’t look at him.

“Hi baby,” he says softly.

He pulls up a chair to the side of her bed and stares at her, checking over every part of her that he can see to make sure she’s okay. Her hand is colder than usual as Bucky picks it up in his own, rubbing her fingers between his palms to warm them up. She still isn’t looking at him. Bucky knows she is doing it on purpose. She isn’t in that catatonic state that she was when he first found her. Someone is home this time, but she’s steadfastly looking anywhere, but Bucky and he has no idea why. He blinks rapidly to fight the fresh wave of tears threatening to fall. 

“Why are you here?” she finally asks once her blood bag has been sucked dry.

Bucky licks his lips.

“Doc said I could,” he says.

“No, I mean, why are you here? With me?” she says.

“I still don’ understand, darlin’,” says Bucky gently. “Why would I not be?”

“Because I killed the twins,” she throws the blood bag across the room and glares at it. “I can’t have your kids. Why are you still here if I can’t give you what you want the most?”

All the breath in Bucky’s lungs leaves on a whoosh, as though he’d been punched in the chest. He lets out a concerned whine and peppers his omega’s hand in kisses. Bucky swallows past nausea building up in his throat and tries to radiate an alpha calmness, but to no avail. His heart hurts.

“Why would ya even think that?” Bucky asks. “How c’n you think that shit?”

“Come on; it’s all you’ve ever talked about. I would understand if you wanted an omega wolf who could give you what you wanted, you know? Better to know this sooner than later. I’d understand. I swear I would. No hard feelings, you know?” she says.

Bucky narrows his eyes, staring at the side of his omega’s face. She may be talking a big game, but Bucky can sense that she’s bullshitting him. There _would_ be hard feelings, and there _would_ be anger, and it would come from  _him_. It _is_ coming from him. Even now, after all, they’ve been through, she is still questioning Bucky? What kind of asshole does she think he is? The snort that leaves Bucky’s mouth is so loud and obnoxious that his omega looks up at him, her face twisting in confusion.

“I love ya, God knows, but you are th’ densest person I’ve ever met.”

She chews her lip. “I don’t understand.”

“Baby, my pretty baby, no. No, no, no. That ain't how this shit works. I don’t up an’ leave ya jus’ ‘cause you can’t carry my pups. What kinda asshole d’ya think I am?” asks Bucky.

“I never said you were an asshole! I said I’d understand if you wanted to…”

“To leave ya!” Bucky barks. “Are you outta your fuckin’ mind? What about us bein’ soulmates do you not  _understand_? Pups are jus’ a bonus, but I’m not leavin’ ya for not bein’ a wolf! C’mon. Haven’t we had this discussion enough times? Ain’t you tired of it? I sure as fuck am. I love  _you_ , wolf or not!”

“I feel guilty, James!” she bursts out. “Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I can’t carry your pups, I can’t present for you, I went into heat once, and my entire face bled, and I turned you into a vampire! To this day I have no idea why your wolf brain told you that I was the one!”

“Good Christ,” Bucky snarls. “Move th’ fuck over.”

“It’s a hospital bed, and I have tubes coming all up out of me!” she cries.

“I don’ care. Move your ass, now.”

Unable to wait, Bucky scoops her up, tubes and all, and shifts her around enough so that he can launch into bed next to her. She is still radiating pain scent that burns Bucky’s nose and makes him wince. He grabs her chin a little too aggressively and stares at her, his fingers digging into her skin firmly.

“You listen here, omega. One, I wanted you to turn me. Two, I could not give a shit if ya can’t present for me. I mean, I’ll admit that I did care when we first got together, but now? Jesus fuck, you’ve been there when we have sex! It is the  _best_  fuckin’ sex I have ever had. An’, okay, I never told ya this ‘cause it never seemed like it would come up again, but remember how I told ya all that time ago that ‘f we got to know each other, my hindbrain may see that we weren’t compatible an’ sever the bond?”

She nods.

“I suppose,” she says.

“Well, it did," Bucky admits. "Our first date at the go-cart track, my hindbrain split the bond.”

Silence.

“What?” she asks.

“You heard me.”

They stare at each other. Her eyebrows furrow and Bucky massages it with his thumb until she relaxes.

“What?” she says again.

Bucky rolls his eyes. ‘’M not sayin’ it again. The bond was severed, but by the time you’d kicked my ass twice on th’ go-cart track, I was already head over heels for you. Told the alpha in me to go fuck himself. I wanted _you_ , vamp or not. An’ you picked me back. There was no question after ya did. I knew you were mine.”

“Oh,” she says, carefully choosing her words, sweet as always. “I think… I wanted you too. No, I  _know_  I did. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my long life.”

“Me too, pretty doll,” says Bucky, licking her cheek. “You’re th’ best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

They sit together in silence, each lost in his or her thoughts. Bucky feels his entire body relaxing the longer that he sits with his baby doll on his lap. She’s okay. Bucky didn’t lose  _everything_. 

“I had names picked out,” she admits softly.

“Same,” Bucky whispers. “What were you thinkin’?”

“Cesia and Więcsław. What about you?”

Bucky smiles briefly: “For a baby girl, I was thinkin’ Winifred, after my Ma. An’ for a boy, Theodore.”

She sees as Bucky swallows past a lump in his throat, and watches as he stares up at the fluorescent lights, trying to not show his weakness by crying in front of her so openly. He is the alpha, and he needs to be the strong one right now. But she doesn't believe in that werewolf nonsense and never will. He isn't human, but he has emotions just like one. She sees how Bucky closes his eyes and how his throat works to swallow back the tears. Their bond hums, alive and glowing with his pain. All she can think of is how she’d flitted in and out of consciousness not even twenty-four hours ago, and Bucky had to watch her bleed until there was nothing left. He tries so hard to be the robust and composed alpha that he needs to be, but she understands. Her alpha can’t be strong forever, and she’ll always be here to pick up the pieces when he shatters.

“James,” she murmurs.

Hearing her say his name so tenderly must have been the breaking point for him as Bucky starts to cry, draping his massive body over her smaller one. One of her hands snakes under his shirt, and she places it on his chest, right where his heart lies under his skin. Bucky wails louder, his entire body shaking. She kisses his throat, leaving her lips there as she whispers to him.

“Shh,” she hums. “I’m here, Buck. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, baby. Let it out. Cry as much as you need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

She feels her own eyes start to fill up with bloody tears, and they run down her cheeks, staining the stark white sheets underneath her. She squeezes Bucky as tightly as she can, and they fall to the bed, him laying on top of her as he continues to cry. He buries his face into her neck and seeks out her bonding mark, nuzzling her urgently.

She kisses his head.

“I’ve got you, Buck. I’ve got you forever, okay?”


End file.
